Last updated on October 9, 2017 | Follow @deanyeong on Twitter
Have you ever felt stuck? Had no idea how you ended up where you were or what to do next?
You can’t get yourself to do anything but you’re not exactly resting either.
Feeling stuck consumes energy and cognitive power that — eventually — makes you feel worse than ever when you find yourself getting nothing done at the end of the day.
I will generalize the feeling of being “stuck” with most of these negative emotions: upset, disappointment, anger, and depression. But the best definition for this particular emotion will be the last one — feeling helpless.
For example, you’re feeling:
These statements can be harmful to ourselves. The more we repeat them, the more dangerous it will be. We might have inherited them as a belief without even noticing.
To get unstuck, we need to adopt a concept that better describes how we feel at the moment. And here are two simple strategies I use whenever I feel overwhelmed and helpless.
Every time you’re feeling stuck, you’re actually feeling helpless in that particular time frame. It may be the past, present or the future.
We tend to feel stuck about things that happened in the past, or when we don’t get expected results in the present. Sometimes we feel helpless when we’re feeling uncertain about our future.
By understanding this concept, you’re free to shift your time frame in order to prevent yourself from falling deeper to the limbo of helplessness.
There are many ways to make yourself feel better using this simple technique. The key is to shift your focus and break the negative thought pattern quickly.
Our emotions change how we feel and act physically. When we’re excited, our heart rate rises. When we’re stressed, our muscles get tense. This reaction is caused by the chemical reaction in our bodies that is triggered by our emotions.
However, chemical changes occur in our bodies all the time. The process doesn’t happen in a single direction. Often, how we act and move changes how we feel emotionally too.
How is your facial expression when you’re angry? How is your body moving when you’re feeling upset? How about joy? Happiness?
Our emotions create movement. But the truth is that our movements lead to our emotion too.
We might not have 100% control over our circumstances, but we have control over how we see and perceive them. Sometimes, we can’t help feeling stuck and helpless, but we can break the negative state by changing our movement.
These movements don’t just bring you out from the negative emotional state, they break the negative patterns and bring instant joy into your life.
Getting out of a state of helplessness isn’t easy. It can be challenging sometimes when the stakes are high. Most of the time, we put ourselves in the position of feeling helpless because the other way around is equally overwhelming.
We trap ourselves in a story that, we have zero influence on our reality — forever — because being responsible is scary and challenging.
When that happens, ask yourself what do you really want, and what do you fear. Instead of focusing on how difficult your current situation is to focus on the things that can lead you to your desired outcome.
The choice will then become clear: Staying in a state of helplessness may make you feel safe, but only by moving out of it and taking constructive actions, can you achieve what you truly desire.
And remember, the journey and process might be long. But the first step is right in front of you. You don’t need to accomplish anything right away. All you need is to break out of a state of helplessness so you can perform at your best.